
As most of you know by now, I'm pregnant! What many of you do not know is how I loathe being pregnant. I have every pregnancy symptom you can think of. I was sick for the first 4 months, raging heartburn no matter what I eat, I get huge and I gain weight all over, my nose is stopped up, my face breaks out and I get horrible headaches. I know I am blessed to be pregnant, but it's hard to be positive when I feel so bad. I had all these symptoms when I was pregnant with Finley and here they are again. There are some differences in this pregnancy. With Finley, I craved milk. This time, any milk that goes in my stomach comes back up. With Finley, I was sick all day, but it was worse in the AM, this time it's worse at night. With Finley, I really didn't have any food aversions, but with this baby I can't tolerate sweets. They sound good, but when I eat them I feel terrible. I'm showing way earlier than I did with Finley, but I figured that would happen. What I didn't anticipate was the awful mommy guilt I would feel. I'm feeling better physically, so it's not as bad, but for a while there it was rough. I felt like I only had a short time left with just me and Finley, but I was so sick I couldn't play with her or take her to do fun things. I could barely get out of bed to make her something to eat or get her juice. I was throwing up at night so Joey completely took over dinner, bath and bedtime with Finley so I felt totally disconnected and sad that she would think I didn't love her. I thought for sure she would be damaged somehow by it. I think my hormones have leveled out a bit, because I know that's not going to happen ;) I plan on making up for it though. The holidays are right around the corner and we are going to make the most of our last months as a family of 3. Of course we are so excited to find out what we're having. We find out on Nov. 15th so I'll be counting down the days. I remember being pregnant with Finley and I was so miserable and once I found out it was a girl, I started buying clothes and decorating the nursery and that was the only thing that kept me going. So far, everything is good with baby #2. I hate being sick, but it is comforting thinking that as long as I'm nauseous, baby is probably okay in there. I'm 15 weeks and 3 days, I think. I'm starting to turn the corner and feel better, but I still have bad days. Mostly I think it relates to sleep and these dang headaches. On the upside, I'm so excited to have another baby and for Finley to be a BIG SISTER! I wish I could give birth tomorrow...is it April 2nd yet? Oh, and April 2nd is not only my due date, it's Finley's birthday! We didn't exactly plan it that way, but I like being pregnant in the winter months and I loved having a a newborn in the Spring. The weather is nice and I don't worry abut bundling him or her up and then summer is right around the corner. It doesn't hurt that since I'm pregnant in the winter, I can indulge in all the holiday eating without hesitation. I even have a legitimate reason to wear stretchy pants :) I'll keep everyone updated. Please pray for a healthy baby :)